Winning The Ex War
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'Winning The Ex War'
I'm certain we have all found ourselves in this situation at some point in our lives. We have been in a relationship that have come to an end. Then, what do you know, we find ourselves constantly thinking about our ex and wishing them back. Often in these situations, the reason for the breakup was due to problems created by the ex. Perhaps they were unfaithful. Maybe they couldn't be trusted. There are a wide range of possibilities for why it happened. But, the fact of the matter is, the relationship has ended for a reason and it was obviously a valid reason or you would still be together.
So, you now find yourself in a situation where you constantly think about nothing but, your ex. You long to have them back in your life. Then you call them for no reason, just to hear their voice. You look for silly, pointless reasons to see them. You make it very clear and obvious to them just how much you want them in your life. However, this is the absolute worst thing that you can do to yourself. You deserve better than them. You deserve to be in a relationship where you are truly cared about and a relationship that is healthy.
The first thing to do when you are trying to break the spell that your ex has over you is to keep yourself busy. Talk with your friends and let them know what is going on. Go out and spend time with your closest friends. Focus on your hobbies and things that you have an interest in. Spend some time with your family members. Find anything that you like doing to keep yourself busy that will keep your mind off of your ex. Keeping yourself occupied is going to make it much easier to avoid calling them. It will also reduce that desire to be with them all the time. You will soon start to realize that your life is better without them in it and life is much more enjoyable.
Another important step is to avoid jumping into a new relationship right away. This is not fair to you or to the person that you start this relationship with. You need time to heal and to get over your ex.
If you jump into a new relationship right away, you are on the rebound and essentially using this new person to replace your ex. In this period you still want to be with the ex though and which makes this relationship doomed to fail before it even starts. You will find yourself unconsciously talking about your ex and continualy comparing them to this new person in your life.
It creates a very uncomfortable, self conscious situation for the person that is put in the middle of your personal issues. You are treating them in a way that is completely wrong and unfair. You need to give yourself plenty of time to grieve and get over the lost relationship before you try getting into a new one. The time will come.
Sit down with a pencil and paper and make a list of all of the things that your ex did to you that were wrong. Chances are you will come up with a pretty extensive list. This will be a good thing for you right now. Every time you start thinking about your ex, just take a look at the list. It will remind you just why you are no longer together. Do so will make you think things through and reduce your desire for wanting to go back.
These are just a few tips that can help you avoid finding yourself in the vicious cycle where you are continually being hurt. You should be able to protect yourself and get over the loss of a relationship in your own time. It is important to spend some time on improving yourself. This will help transform you into a better person for relationships to come.
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